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stars, sex and nudity buzz : 01/04/2013

Thandie Newton In Rogue : Exclusive First Look


What would you do if you came face-to-face with your child's killer? 

The series stars Thandie Newton, Marton Csokas along with newcomers Joshua Sasse and Leah Gibson. 

Newton is a grief-stricken mother who is drawn into a devil's deal to find her son's killers; the series is set in San Francisco and premieres on DirecTV this April 3rd. 

The cast will make an appearance at the winter TCA press tour in Pasadena (January 9).

CAST �

THANDIE NEWTON (Grace Travis)

MARTON CSOKAS (Jimmy Laszlo)

JOSHUA SASSE (Alec Laszlo) � SEXY NEWCOMER

LEAH DIANE GIBSON (Cathy Laszlo) � SEXY NEWCOMER 

Grace Travis is a wife, mother of two, and the bay area's best undercover detective. She's adept at transitioning between suburban life and the Oakland docks where she's been embedded for months with a criminal enterprise run by James "Jimmy" Laszlo and his sons, Max and Alec. Grace is abruptly pulled out of the field when her son, Sam, is killed in a drive by shooting. Her life is shattered. 

Four months later... 

The investigation into Sam's death has gone cold. Grace, guilt-ridden and unable to accept the loss, has begun to search for answers. With the help of her mentor, Mitch, a link is uncovered between Sam's death and Jimmy Laszlo's organization. Unable to convince her superiors that she is fit for duty, Grace goes ROGUE slipping back undercover as "Jackie Hays" in Laszlo's gang. When Laszlo discovers Grace's true identity, thru his mole in the police department, they make an unholy alliance. Someone close to Laszlo has been working against him. He's willing to spare Grace's life, and help her find Sam's killer, if she helps him uncover the traitor in his organization. It's a deal she can't refuse. 


* It appears Canadian actress with sexy bod Leah Gibson will do her first nude scene(s) judging from the trailer above. Admittedly I don't know the direction DirecTV will go with their original content. The cable version of DAMAGES had nudity but it was all too darkish and brief. You can only hope ROGUE will have full-blown sex scenes similar to Starz productions.


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Poster Debut: Kaya Scodelario in 'Emanuel And The Truth About Fishes'


Rising U.K. actress Kaya Scodelario (Skins, Moon, Wuthering Heights) stars as a teenager who strikes up a friendship with her mysterious neighbor (Jessica Biel) in the drama Emanuel and the Truth About Fishes, which premieres in competition at the Sundance Film Festival. Movieline's got your first look at the poster for the surrealism-tinged thriller featuring Scodelario, who will be one to watch this month in Park City.
Scodelario's been an intriguing new talent since breaking out on the original Skins, the kids-behaving-badly hit U.K. series that inspired Project X-esque mayhem in suburban England and inspired a terrible American knockoff series on MTV. She appeared in Duncan Jones' Moon and briefly in Clash of the Titans, but earned critical acclaim last year as Catherine in Andrea Arnold's Wuthering Heights, and for a good while had considerable fan support vying to play the role of Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games which eventually went to Jen Lawrence.
Emanuel should help Scodelario bolster her presence stateside (she also appears in the as-yet unreleased in the U.S. drama Now Is Good, AKA The One Where Dakota Fanning Has Cancer And A British Accent), and it also adds some zest and indie cred to co-star Biel's filmography following a varied year marked by the indie horror The Tall Man, the sci-fi remake Total Recall, awards hopeful Hitchcock, and the Gerard Butler vehicle Playing For Keeps.
Alfred Molina, Frances O'Connor, Jimmi Simpson, and Aneurin Barnard also star in the pic from director Francesca Gregorini, who previously co-wrote and co-directed the girls school drama Tanner Hall. Check out the full hi-res poster debut below and stay tuned for Movieline's coverage of the Sundance Film Festival, held January 17-27.
Emanuel Kaya Scodelario
Synopsis:
A troubled girl Emanuel (Kaya Scodelario) becomes preoccupied with her mysterious new neighbor (Jessica Biel), who bears a striking resemblance to her dead mother. In offering to baby-sit Linda's newborn, Emanuel unwittingly enters a fragile, fictional world, of which she becomes the gatekeeper.


More info at the Sundance Film Festival website. 

* Reportedly Kaya enjoyed filming the movie but hated living in Los Angeles during that period. So much so she flew in her mom to stay with her. 

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2012's TV lessons for 2013

By Breeanna Hare, CNN
(CNN) -- You don't have to be an avid fan to acknowledge that 2012 offered some great TV.
Putting aside the national reality show that was the presidential election, there was escalating excellence on "Sons of Anarchy," "The Walking Dead" and "Parks and Recreation." There was the birth of "Girls," "House of Lies," "Veep" and "Luck" (RIP) and the redemption of "Dexter." For every hour of uncomfortably bad scripted or unscripted programming, there was something thought-provoking or, at the very least, entertaining.

We can only hope this trend continues as we look ahead to 2013. So if we could whisper a few of the lessons we've learned from TV this year into the ears of showrunners, here's what we'd say:

1. Keep the intrigue coming
One reason we're excited about the potential for FX's "The Americans" is because we're already addicted to Showtime's "Homeland" and ABC's "Scandal." We've had to wean ourselves off ABC's "Last Resort," seeing as it won't return next fall.
Those are all different shows with different objectives, with "Scandal" giving us sudsy twists, "Last Resort" offering seafaring suspense and "Homeland," at its best, tautly paced thrills. Despite their storyline divergences, they all appealed to our current collective interest in conspiracy, deception and tangled political drama.
"The Americans" teases us with the prospect of more of the same, except this time the focus will be on two KGB spies posing as married parents residing in the suburbs of Washington during the 1980s. We can hardly wait until January 30.

2. Oh, the horror
Between the imaginative insanity on "American Horror Story: Asylum" and the ruthless gore on "The Walking Dead," horror is ever-present on the small screen, and TV viewers are welcoming the thrills with open arms.
The trend looks to continue in 2013, as one of NBC's more anticipated shows is Bryan Fuller's take on the Hannibal Lecter legend. The drama "Hannibal" explores the psychiatrist and eventual serial killer's burgeoning consulting relationship with a young Detective Will Graham.
A-and-E will also try out a series in this genre, examining the early years of "Psycho's" Norman Bates with "Bates Motel." The series is executive produced by "Lost" mastermind Carlton Cuse.
When asked during a press call why horror is having such a renaissance with TV viewers, "AHS: Asylum's" Zachary Quinto said he thinks it could be because its a no-holds-barred approach to our societal fears.
"These shows that are able to be so bold and graphic and uncompromising, unflinching, stand to serve that purpose and be the sort of receptacle for all that collective anxiety," he said. "I think that's important, actually, in a social function, especially in a world that has as much anxiety as the one that we live in does. I think in some ways, it's exhilarating, but it's also a little bit scary that that reflects the world we live in as well."
The thing to note here, as Quinto did, is that cable is playing by a different set of rules when it comes to telling stories with a horror bent. Nonetheless, it will be interesting to see how NBC works through that with "Hannibal."

3. Talent trumps drama
We are not a nation in want of a singing competition, but "The Voice" has managed to blaze a trail through a crowded playing field.
All of the big three -- "The Voice," "The X Factor" and "American Idol" -- operate on essentially the same ground rules: Unknowns will audition, the famous will do the judging, and with help from the viewing audience, a singer will be crowned.
But here's where they differ: While "The X Factor" and "American Idol" still trade heavily on which personalities are seated at the judges' table and any potential drama, "The Voice" pushes competing and guest talent to the forefront. The coaches/mentors still have their squabbles, and there are still a few awkward auditions, but the very premise emphasizes singing ability above all else. With so many reality shows boiling down to bickering and fake tension, a competition show that fights (mostly) clean stands out.

4. Narrow is the new broad
Along with the rise of the antihero, thanks to shows like "Breaking Bad," "Mad Men" and newcomer "House of Lies," there has been a distinct lean toward individuality.
As TV viewing habits shift from a few shows watched by the masses to several shows that are each supported by a devoted few, we're also getting more nuanced, detailed and unique voices.
For example, the heart and irreplaceable point of view Louis C.K. brings to the character and story of "Louie" makes the FX comedy infinitely watchable. Lena Dunham's Hannah Horvath on "Girls," and really the entire cast, can be relatable, detestable and endearing all in one episode.
This was the year that Max Greenfield really came into his own, stealing many "New Girl" scenes as Schmidt.
This year also brought the arrival of Don Cheadle's immoral but surprisingly sympathetic Marty Kaan on Showtime's "House of Lies" and the hilariously horrid B.J. on "Ben and Kate." And has there ever been anyone on network television like Chloe, the title character from "Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23?" You'd be hard-pressed to find more individuality than on top comedies like "Parks and Recreation" and "Happy Endings."
Granted, the "quirk" factor has been in overdrive on TV lately, but all attempts toward originality are welcomed by us.

5. Quality over quantity
We hate breaks between seasons as much as anyone who shifts their schedule around their TV-viewing plans, but not every story needs to be fleshed out for 22, or even 12, episodes and extended for seasons. In fact, there are quite a few series we can think of that should've given up the ghost several episodes ago.
Rather than forcing us to watch something beloved collapse under the strain of an increasingly stretched plot, miniseries like PBS' outstanding "Sherlock" or History's one-time-only "Hatfields and McCoys" offer only as many episodes as the story supports. And in doing so, the quality remains intact.

6. Don't be afraid to kill a character
As much as viewers may weep, showrunners everywhere should take note that virtually no one is safe on the most highly acclaimed dramas. "Game of Thrones," "Boardwalk Empire," "American Horror Story: Asylum," "Mad Men," "The Walking Dead" and "Homeland" have all been willing to sacrifice a character or three in the name of maintaining an unpredictable and affecting story.

7. Give good send-off
With many of our favorites headed into their series finales, including "30 Rock," "Fringe" and "Breaking Bad," we have to say we like where the road to the end is carrying us.
From Walter White's continued descent into darkness, to a final showdown with the Observers, to Liz Lemon's exploration of having it all -- complete with a Princess Leia costume to get married -- the creative teams are acknowledging that now's the time to raise the bar for excellence even higher. Here's to seeing both series, as well as others wrapping up in 2013, going out on top.

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Idiot's Guide to Making Movies for Dummies: Ep 2 DIRECTING A LOVE SCENE

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Asia Argento and Matt Damon Want to Make Porn Movies


Why would anyone in Hollywood be interested in making a porn film? To give the seedy genre a new unique spin, to break down existing sexual taboos or for another reason, these 5 stars all have an interest in making a porn film in the future even though it is sure to stir controversy and get a lot of attention for its risqué content – they want to do it! While some want to stick to the usual set-up that comes with porn (the bad script, cheesy locations, etc) others are more interested in doing something different such as writing a proper script and developing the characters to give it more depth and meaning.

Asia Argento
asia
Asia wants to create a film possibly for women because she feels it would address a taboo that is rarely seen: “I wanted to make a porn remake of Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! and take it to the next level. One day I would like to make a movie about sex, especially for women because women’s sexuality, things like women’s masturbation, is still a huge taboo.”

Dita Von Teese
dita
Dita is interested in directing a porn film aimed at both genders that wouldn’t be too cliche: “I don’t want my porn too geared toward women. I want it really dirty. I like Sasha Grey. I look for her movies because she’s got it all. She’s beautiful and not trying to look like the cliche porn star.”

Lil’ Jon
lil
Rapper Lil’ Jon has put together a team to make several porns: “We’ve been planning to make some proper hardcore porn films for about two years now. And when my homeboy came up with a script we just looked around for a crew and good producer. It probably took about two weeks to get together. We’re planning a series of them. The next one will be shot in either Costa Rica or Brazil.”

Matt Damon
matt
Matt wants to make a one-of-a-kind porn film that develops the characters properly: “My theory on action movies is that they’re like porn movies. A porn movie has got really bad writing, really bad acting and really thinly drawn characters. They have a really sh*tty scene where they talk and say, ‘Hey, I’m the milkman’ And you know what is going to happen. And then you get the action and you don’t really feel anything for the action and then you get another really stupid scene with, ‘Hey, I’m the milkman’. What I want to do is make a character-driven porn movie. It’s all going to be about the character and the porn’s going to grow out of the characters and serve as character development.”

Moby
moby
Moby wants to make a porn that features men who are less well-endowed than usual: “I’ve never understood why porn made for men often stars studly guys with enormous you know? Surely that’s intimidating to most guys watching? My porn flick would exclusively feature men with normal-to-titchy-sized penises in order to make viewers feel better.”

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Penises (willies, cocks) are awesome.....10 Reasons Why

emilyhart
Hi, I'm Emily, I take a wry look at the top 10 reasons why... a weekly show that proves that everything in the world can be explained with 10 reasons. You might not agree with everything I say and that's fine, my only intention is to provide you all with some much needed light entertainment.


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Girls Star Allison Williams on the Show’s Second Season


Dimitrios Kambouris / Getty ImagesLena Dunham might be the face of Girls, the HBO show about twenty-somethings stumbling into adulthood in New York City (returning Jan. 13 at 9 p.m. ET), but Allison Williams is making her mark as Marnie, the Type-A yin to Hannah’s (Dunham’s) hot-mess yang. Here, the 24-year-old actress lets loose with TIME.

The new Girls tagline is “almost getting it kind of together.” Heading into season 2, which character is the biggest mess?
At the top of the season, it’s probably Marnie.

Not that you’re biased or anything.
No, I know. I’m going through the characters in my head, and Marnie [who just broke up with longtime boyfriend Charlie] has had the whole rug has pulled out from underneath her. She really is the biggest mess.

So does she get it together? Almost? Kind of?
It’s mostly a season of flailing for her. But I think that’s really important. People who claim to have it all together, who seem totally together all the time, need to have a realization that everything isn’t perfect, and that that’s okay. It was hard for me. I root for her.

Do you think she’ll get back with Charlie?
Oh, I can’t tell you that. You’ll have to watch.

Do you want her to?
I want her to be happy, so if that is what will make her happy, then that’s what I would want for her.

The last time we saw Hannah, she had lost her purse and phone and was stranded on Coney Island beach—with a slice of cake. I take it she survived?
She survived! I asked Lena, So wait, did you replace your credit cards, or what? And she was like, ‘Only you would worry about the logistics of Hannah getting her purse stolen.’

Actually, I was wondering the same thing.
Yeah! She gave me no answers.

When Girls first premiered, there was a lot of backlash. People were saying the show wasn’t diverse enough, that the actresses were too well-connected [Williams’ dad is NBC anchor Brian Williams], etc. Did any of that bother you?
I have a couple friends who are actors, and before the show came out, they said stop Googling your name and don’t read anything—good or bad—because the best criticism and notes are gonna come from your directors, and Lena, and stuff. And so I didn’t read a lot of it. But I of course heard about it through broad strokes.

And what did you think?
Honestly, I think some amount of that is certainly to be expected. To be on a show where you hear no negative criticisms at all would have been an incredible anomaly. But when people come up to me and talk to me they seem to really love it. So in terms of the criticism, none of [what we did] was malicious and I’m sorry if it offended anybody or hurt anybody’s feelings.
Well, the show got a second season and four Emmy nominations, so clearly you’re doing something right.Thank you, yes, that was really exciting. Especially to be nominated with all of those behemoth shows I’ve been watching since their inception — it was an absolutely eye-opening and a humbling experience.

What do your parents think of Girls?
My entire family likes the show. In fact, my grandparents watch the show. My grandfather just turned 90 and my grandmother is 83 and at Christmas they were asking me all kinds of questions. They were begging for spoilers. 

You shoot some pretty racy scenes, though—sex, drugs, even masturbation. That’s never awkward?
OK, I was concerned about that, obviously, cause you know, it’s grandparents. But they quickly reminded me that they’ve been alive so much longer than I have, and that they’ve seen it all. So I was like, Oh okay, great. We don’t have to have this long, awkward conversation!

You’ve said you watch a lot of TV.
Oh my gosh, I did an interview once where I wrote down every single show I watch, and there are, I believe, around 50 of them. Luckily they’re not all on the air at the same time.

I was gonna say…
I watch everything. Really. Honestly. If you just picked a show and guessed, I probably watch it.

Which one is your guiltiest pleasure?
Bachelor Pad [ABC’s reality competition for ex-contestants on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette]. The Bachelorette and The Bachelor are such an intricately produced and riveting two hours of television that I don’t call them guilty pleasures; they’re just pleasures. Bachelor Pad—even my most devoted Bachelor fan friends, are like, I gotta bow out for this one. But I always stick through it.

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Imogen Poots: The face you won't be able to miss this year




From biopics of Paul Raymond and Jeff Buckley to a Nick Hornby rom-com, Imogen Poots has a busy 2013 ahead, she tells Kaleem Aftab. 

There will be no stopping Imogen Poots in 2013. The west London-born star is appearing in some of the most highly anticipated films of the year. Meanwhile as a model she has found time to front a fragrance campaign for Chloé, shot by Sofia Coppola. Her own style is certainly eclectic. When we meet in a trendy, windowless bar she is wearing trousers that feature an elaborate, chaotic silver print. "They are a bit like a party got spilled on my pants," she says. "I woke up this morning and was feeling a little dazed and I thought, Hey I'm going to put on something that is going to make me smile all the time."

Full of jokes, at 23, Poots has the confidence of someone who senses that they are about to have the biggest year of their career. First up she plays Debbie Raymond, daughter of the Soho porn magnate Paul Raymond in Michael Winterbottom's The Look of Love. After that we'll see her rubbing shoulders with Christopher Walken, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Catherine Keener in A Late Quartet, starring as a girlfriend of Jeff Buckley in the music biopic Greetings from Tim Buckley, and further down the line comes an adaptation of Nick Hornby's novel A Long Way Down.

Playing the notorious Raymond was an education. "I wasn't fully aware of her, nor the Raymond legacy," she says. "I did not necessarily see her as a party girl. I know she died in her early thirties and I always thought of her like a Peter Pan character. She never really grew up, she was savvy as hell and very intelligent but that doesn't necessarily translate into her being able to take care of herself."

Part of the enjoyment of making The Look of Love came from working with the prolific Winterbottom, she says. "He is such a kinetic film-maker, constantly switching it up and deciding things in a way that I found very brilliant. I loved working in a way that is unpredictable. You walk around and you find things that are perfect for the film and you just shoot it.

"It's a shame in a way because you then go onto other jobs and you realise: 'Oh no, not everybody is like that. Not everyone has that sort of energy and trust.'"

After that, it's a brace of musical films – A Late Quartet, in which she plays the prodigal daughter of concert violinists who conducts an affair with her father's best friend, and Greetings From Tim Buckley, which uses a concert organised by Jeff Buckley in tribute to his father to look at both musicians. Gossip Girl star Penn Badgley stars as Jeff Buckley.

"Music is something I care immensely about. Growing up in my late teens my mum and dad didn't really give me music, they gave me books," says Poots. "It was definitely my own discovery. I found that a lot of stuff that I loved stemmed from Eighties and Nineties music, but now I'm just a doo-wop fanatic."

She is also a fan of Tim Buckley. "'Once I Was' is the greatest love song ever. I mean, really ever." Would it be her wedding song of choice? "If I ever make it down the aisle, maybe that or 'Ceremony' by New Order..." As for her guilty pleasures: "I used to be embarrassed by my Billy Joel and Dolly Parton obsessions. I'm now just embracing them full-on."

She grew up in Chiswick ("full of pensioners and pigeons") and started acting with the Young Blood Theatre Company in Hammersmith. By the age of 14 she had her first Casualty appearance under her belt. Her movie career started with a turn in V For Vendetta in 2006 followed by her first major role in 28 Weeks Later when she was just 17.

The trajectory has hardly changed since and these days the actress finds herself being courted as much in America as she has been in Britain. In addition to a home in London she rents an apartment with a friend in Los Angeles, although it's New York that she calls her "favourite place in the world."

It was where she shot A Long Way Down, an adaptation of Nick Hornby's novel about four people who meet on a rooftop to commit suicide. She's also in the middle of shooting the romantic comedy Are We Officially Dating? in the city, in which she plays opposite Zac Efron, her co-star in Me and Orson Welles.

All of which left her with not very much time to spend at home over Christmas, "I was home just for five days, having a whisky with my dad and hanging out."


'The Look of Love' is out on 8 March; 'A Late Quartet' is out on 5 April; 'Greetings from Tim Buckley' and 'A Long Way Down' are out later in the year

This article appears in tomorrow's print edition of Radar Magazine


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Trolling Celebs at the Venice Film Festival

Disguised as a journalist, master troll Nimrod Kamer heads to the Venice Film Festival and messes with celebrities like Willem Dafoe, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Weinstein, and Philip Seymour Hoffman.
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Nimrod Kamer is a social climber disguised as a journalist. He recently subscribed to a website called ForesightNews, which allows unlimited information and invites to the world's cheesiest PR events. In addition, he bought himself 19,000 bot twitter followers and created a fake TED talk lecture, to spark-up his CV. His pledge is this: spend the rest of his life living off PR gift-bags and journalist treats, while boasting about it.
Check out more Nimrod here 



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Kickstarter: Users Pledge More Than $100 Mil to Indie Film Projects

Five Oscar-shortlisted documentaries are among the more than 8,500 projects that have received backing.

Perry Chen
Here's a big kickstart for the indie film community.

Users of Kickstarter.com have pledged more than $100 million to independent film projects, the fundraising site announced in a blog post Thursday. In all, 891,979 backers have pledged $102.7 million to independent films since April 2009. A little more than $85 million has been collected so far, going to more than 8,500 projects.

“In Hollywood, $100 million might be the marketing budget for a single blockbuster, but independent filmmakers are more resourceful,” wrote the site’s editors. “This $100 million helped to create more than 8,000 films, many of which have gone on to great acclaim and success.”

Here’s the breakdown of the types of projects that have been funded, from April 28, 2009 to Jan. 1, 2013:
Documentary - $42.64 million pledged to 2,394 projects
Narrative Film - $31.74 million pledged to 2,331 projects
Short Film - $16.68 million pledged to 3,000 projects
Webseries - $6.83 million pledged to 619 projects
Animation - $4.87 million pledged to 223 projects

Some of those projects have gone on to receive Oscar nominations, including the 2011 documentaries Sun Come Up and Incident in New Baghdad.

Three Kickstarter projects have been shortlisted for the 85th Academy Awards in the documentary feature category (The Waiting RoomDetropia and Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry), and two more have been shortlisted in the documentary short category (Inocente and Kings Point).

Kickstarter-funded films also have been hitting the festival circuit, with about 10 percent of the Sundance Film Festival’s 2012 and 2013 slate being made up of films backed by the site's users. The same was true of the 2012 South by Southwest Film Festival and the 2012 Tribeca Film Festival, according to Kickstarter.

“This would be a very impressive track record for an established studio or production company. To see these results come from outside the system in such a short time is even more inspiring,” wrote the Kickstarter staff.

Kickstarter was launched in 2009 and allows people to seek funding for creative projects from backers online.

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Miss Polonia 2012 Manhattan Natalia Starr in Brazzer' Teens Like It Big (American House Sitter) released on New Year's Day.
Natalia's BJ skill is improving by each flick. Attempted to deep-throat the 7-incher. She gagged but was game for it. 
For a girl professing deep love for black men, she had trouble coping with a big cock in her pussy. Her face (and later the whimpering) said it all. Bringing in the vib to soothe the pussy is pretty good sign. She was in pain but strangely appeared to enjoy the rough treatment meted out by the male talent. A future KINK candidate?

Loved the way her tits swayed to the hard poundings.
Her first proper facial on-cam. The strings of love juice beautifully adorned her pretty face.
Later in an interview:
Kieren is a very passionate performer and it shows in our scene,” Natalia offers. “We really took that scene to the next level.

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Diem Brown Reveals Her Bald Look in Emotional Photo Shoot

The morning of the shoot I was so, so nervous. I got out of the shower and just stared at myself. "Okay you got this, it isn't that big of a deal, no one will judge you so stop being a crazy person!" I said.

I believe some of my apprehension comes from my experience taking off my wig on MTV's The Duel six years ago. So many viewers sent messages of support and admiration, while others reacted in disgust and hate. "God please tell Diem to put that wig back on. She looks like a transvestite without it!" Sadly comments of that nature stick with you, so although I was excited to do a bald photo shoot, my inner insecurity naysayer kept popping up.

Upon arriving at the PEOPLE shoot with my chemo cap on, I could see the set looked amazing! The room was filled with the nicest, most understanding people you can imagine, and I felt my nerves start to ease. The makeup artist started wiping off my makeup and although I was like, "Oh great, say bye bye to the eyebrows I just painted on," he assured me I was in great hands. "They would like to start with some natural shots and don't worry I won't take off all your eyebrows" he said with a smile.

As I walked on set, I knew the moment was about to happen, time to rip off that Band-Aid. I have always hid behind my hair, or most recently hid behind hats and bandanas, so taking it all off really does feel extremely raw and makes you feel incredibly vulnerable.
Diem Brown Reveals Her Bald Look in Emotional Photo Shoot| Celebrity Blog, Health, Diem Brown
Diem Brown
The photographer started shooting to test the lighting and – boom – my nerves started up once again. I knew in mere moments my lovely chemo hat had to be tossed off. I started knotting and twirling my fingers trying to displace my anxiety. But I could feel the tears welling up, burning like fire in my eyes, and on cue my throat started becoming tense.

"Is it okay if I just take it off now? The anticipation is making me crazy," I blurted out with a laugh trying to control my emotions.

"Of course. Any time you're ready sweetie," the photographer chirped.

My hands fiddling like a mad woman, I started caressing my chemo cap while chanting in my head, "Just do it, come on you baby... just do it," and with a flick my cap was off and I was no longer able to hold back my welled up tears.

"Wow, okay here we go, here I am y'all" I thought to myself. It's truly insane how those first moments being bald in front of other people feel. You feel completely raw and you almost feel naked. Pulling myself together I quickly wiped away my tears and said, "Okay, let's go, let's do this!"
I continued to feel raw and almost naked during most of that first outfit. I could not look anyone in the eye. I was only able to look directly at inanimate objects like a camera lens or the floor where my chemo cap was.

But as the day went on, I became more and more comfortable and even stopped putting my chemo cap back on in between the outfit changes. I started feeling strong and kept reminding myself of the image I would have liked to see six years ago Googling "bald girls."

I didn't want the image to scream "cancer" but instead wanted the image to scream strength, determination and for the images to deliver a cool confident vibe like I saw in Natalie Portman's shaved head pics. Hell, I'll be honest, I wanted to feel like I looked sexy in some of the pics just like those Hollywood chicks always seem to.

By the last outfit the music started pumping Carly Rae Jepsen's "Call Me Maybe," so of course I started dancing to the beat of the chorus. I went from a scared, crying, anxious girl at the start of the shoot to a jumping, laughing, dancing manic girl on set by the end of the day. It was an amazing experience and I'm so very happy I went through with it... insecurities and all!
That said, whatever event you might have coming up ...do it! Go for it! Don't let your insecurities hold you back. We all have them and we all have the ability to push those insecurities to the ground and stomp them out.

In the end, you can only grow by allowing yourself to be vulnerable and you will feel a sense of pride once you put yourself out there in spite of your stupid lil inner insecurity naysayer!

Check back for updates every Thursday: Diem will be chronicling exclusively for PEOPLE.com her journey through fertility treatments, chemotherapy and her quest to educate others about ovarian health. You can also follow her on Twitter @DiemBrown.

More here.

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Natalya Toporova Swimwear: Photoshoot by Jason Bassett | Model : Elaina Christina



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Sundance (2013) - Big Sur Official Trailer #1 (2013) - Sundance Movie HD

FilmFestivalVideosFilmFestivalVideosBig Sur
Starting on January 17th, we'll be sitting in the mountains of Park City, Utah, for the Sundance Film Festival, ready to start the buzz on the latest (and hopefully greatest) independent movies that 2013 has to offer. And with the festival so close, the hype for some of the films is already kicking off. This time it's the first trailer for Big Sur, an adaptation of yet another Jack Kerouac book (Kill Your Darlings with Daniel Radcliffe will also be at Sundance). Jean-Marc Barr plays Kerouac this time with Kate Bosworth and Josh Lucas also starring in this story of the writer's struggle with alcoholism and a relationship with his best friend's mistress. This looks like a gorgeous film that Kerouac fans might really enjoy. Watch below!
Michael Polish (The Astronaut Farmer, Twin Falls Idaho) directs Big Sur from a script he wrote himself based on Jack Kerouac's famed book of the same name. The story focuses on a moment in the writers’s life when, overwhelmed by the success of his opus On the Road and struggling with alcoholism, he retreats to his publisher Lawrence Ferlinghetti’s cabin in the small, coastal California town of Big Sur, which eventually inspires his 1962 novel. Kerouac’s time begins with quiet moments of solitude and communing with nature. But, struck by loneliness, he heads to San Francisco, where he resumes drinking and gets pushed into a relationship with his best friend Neal Cassady’s mistress, Billie. Big Sur premieres at Sundance this month.

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